Can't believe Sandra Bullock won for Best Actress.

Eh, which of the nominees should've won over her?

I don't know... Helen Mirren is really good. And so is Meryl Streep.

What'd Helen Mirren do again?

Eh, some obscure film I didn't see.

And Julie & Julia was kind of a fluffy movie, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was.

I just... I don't know.

Sandra Bullock isn't a good actress.

Haha. I can't remember a movie I've seen her in.

There was also Gabourey Sidibe from Precious.

Precious looked fucking awful.

From Valuable: Based on the book 'Shove' by Ruby

"I'm fat black and retarded, let's believe in me!" or whatever. It's Rudy 2010.

And who the hell's name is Sapphire?

Oh, it was incest, not retarded. Right.

Still.

OVERCOMING ALL ODDS TO RISE TO A VAGUELY "UPLIFTING" ENDING

One of those lame-assed melodramatic Overcoming Ridiculous Adversity movies designed almost exclusively to play upon one's heartstrings.

BULL

SHIT

And Sapphire.

Sapphire.

What the fuck.

Who names their kid that?

What, is it like fucken Prince or something? Seal?

What about, like, Sapphire Kowalski?

Come on.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A STUPID NAME, AT LEAST PLEASE HAVE A LAST NAME TOO SO IT DOESN'T RIDE RIGHT OFF THE CLIFF OF STUPID INTO FUCKHEAD CANYON

I realize it's as arbitrary as anything else, but if you're going to go by A Single Name you better be fucking amazing, or else you're just a pretentious fuckhole.