Does your local cemetary have a closing time?

Not sure.

Is there a gate?

Hrmm, not sure.

Why?

No reason. *discreetly sweeps pile of bones under a rug*

Want to go in there and steal some corpses and beat off into the caskets until they're filled to the brim with cum and then bury them again and then ask the DA to exhume the bodies?

APRIL FOOOOOOOOOLS, TAXPAYERS!!!

*literally stands over a vandalized casket, jerking off, for months*

*somehow nobody notices*

*following conclusion, skeleton reveals he "enjoyed it"*

Haha. But we stole the corpses.

Before that point.

So we could beat off into the empty caskets.

Hahaha, of course. My bad.

IT'S A SIMPLE PLAN, APPLETON

KEEP UP

"Fuck, I've been jerking off onto a skeleton for weeks. I hope he doesn't notice."

Sentences I never thought I'd write.

After a month, the skeleton shakes its head and feebly swats at you. "What the… what the fuck are you doing, dude? Get out of here! GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Shut up, skeleton man! He'll hear you!"

"Good thing this cemetery didn't have a closing time, or a gate, or we wouldn't be able to stand here for months beating off onto this skeleton."